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Cooking/baking

Postby Starky » Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:03 am

I realise that I'm probably going to get a bit of stick for this (combined with a thread on wine too...), but CUNT it, who cares. If you don't like it, just don't post.

From Monday:

1. I reckon the sauce ended up alright. Steveo? But I should remember to go easy on the mustard next time, it really does overwhelm the whisky and pepper if you're not careful.

2. Mashed sweet potatoes? I thought they were really delicious. I just added a wee bit of salt to the water when it was cooking. What else did you put in them? And did you add it before or after mashing?

Basically, any questions, share them and maybe you'll get an answer, and success/failure stories, go on. Why not.
Iakobus1 wrote:
smr wrote:This is a thread I wasn't sure was exactly suitable for the "Sports" forum :P


True, but we sadly don't have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.

Brainwave: we should have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.


Jose Mourinho wrote:The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.


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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby Iakobus1 » Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:19 pm

I have literally no idea.

But a cooking thread I can get behind.

Your Pal James's Easy-as-Shit Vegetable Sautee Thing For Make Good Reasonably Healthy Eat Stuff

Ingredients

1 Onion
Cloves of Garlic to taste
Some dried herbs (if you want)
Some chili if you like
1 Stock pot
Cooking oil of some kind
Vegetables of basically any kind (potatoes, peppers, courgettes, aubergines, tomatoes, peas....etc)

Method

Chop onion
Dice/smash garlic/chili
Chop veggies

Par-boil potatoes if applicable (Chop into small pieces and boil for about 20 mins. Do this first!)
Put some oil in pan
Medium heat
Throw in onions and stir fry till transparent
Add garlic/herbs/chili and stir for half a minute or so
Add veggies
Add stock pot
Stir fry for about 5-10 minutes

Beat chest and roar

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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby Starky » Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:35 pm

Monday was when Steveo, Seumas and I made some haggis. I made a mess of the sauce by adding too much mustard. But the sweet potatoes I had little involvement in. So the two questions are for Steveo's attention.

Liking the recipe. I'll give it a go at some point, certainly.
Iakobus1 wrote:
smr wrote:This is a thread I wasn't sure was exactly suitable for the "Sports" forum :P


True, but we sadly don't have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.

Brainwave: we should have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.


Jose Mourinho wrote:The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.


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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby Iakobus1 » Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:05 pm

Probably a side dish really, but a cracking way to make anything else that's simple (roast chicken, for example) into an actual meal.
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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby smr » Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:53 am

Honestly, it's just because that particular mustard works as a decongestant. Any other mustard I'd have happily taken more mustard flavour in the sauce but it just had a bit of burn. The final version was lovely.

I added nothing to the cooking water. They were literally the boiled sweet potatoes you passed over to us mashed up with some butter. It worked really well with the haggis, garlic carrots and whisky sauce, I thought.

That was a great night and we should definitely eat that again.

Simple bread

500g plain white flour. Doesn't need to be strong (which costs more) flour, just let it rise longer.
7g dry fast action yeast
Teaspoon salt
300g warm (tap water after 30s in the microwave, say) water
30g butter

1. Put flour, yeast, salt and butter in a bowl. Put salt on the opposite side of the bowl to the yeast. Mix together. Slowly add water, mixing and kneading to make a dough.

2. Lay dough out on a plate and flatten, fold and flatten every 5 minutes about 6/7 times. This lets the yeast knead the dough itself.

3. Put back in bowl, cover bowl with damp cloth / plastic wrap and leave dough to rise for at least 90m or longer if wanted, can be overnight. Much longer doesn't seem to hurt it.

4. Put small cup of cold water into a tray at the bottom of a preheated (gas 8 ) oven. Put dough on another tray, bake for 25m. Tap base, if it sounds hollow it's done, if it sounds heavy turn over and do another 5-10m .

Goes great with soup.
I am either ridiculously impressed with voice recognition or completely baffled.

"Dive Source SCUBA Watersports" Did you mean, Dinosaurs School for Watersports?

No. But please take me there, smartphone.


We see this kind of shit in Wales all the time.

I like this. I like how you handled this. You could've come right out and been "Some guy cunted that sheep," but you went subtle.
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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby Starky » Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:48 am

Chickpeas

1. Put a pack of dried chickpeas into a large cooking pot. Fill with cold water, covering chickpeas with plenty of water.
2. Leave overnight, or for about 12 hours.
3. Empty water, fill pot with fresh boiling water.
4. Simmer for about two hours, checking tenderness regularly.

They should be firm: soft enough to eat, but not mushy (unless you want to mash them into hummus). You can do all sorts of things with them, and I think they're great by themselves, hot or cold, with beer or tea. They'll be good for about a fortnight kept in a sealed container in the fridge. Easily microwaved or added to whatever you like.

Brown lentils

1. Empty a pack of brown lentils into a sieve. Rinse under the cold tap.
2. Put the lentils into a pot and cover with plenty of boiling water.
3. Add black pepper/chili/cumin/whatever if desired.
4. Simmer for about 15-20 minutes, or until reasonably soft, but not mushy.
5. (optional) salt slightly just before draining.

Personally I don't usually bother adding salt, as I put them into other things that have stock cubes etc. in them. They are also good in salads or even on their own. They'll keep for about a week in a sealed container in the fridge.

Whatever-you-have tomato thing

Pasta or rice, preferably wholewheat or brown
Olive oil
Mushrooms/onions/peppers
Lentils/fava beans/chickpeas/olives
Tomato paste/tinned chopped tomatoes/freshly-chopped tomatoes
(optional) red wine/black olive paste
Stock cube
Cumin/black pepper/chili/etc

1. Put some olive oil in a large-ish pot on a low heat and fry the mushrooms/onions/peppers until slightly brown.
2. Add the tomato paste (probably 1 or 2 dessert spoons) or equivalent (about 1 tin or 1 or 2 freshly-chopped tomatoes) and mix. If desired, add a splash of red wine and a bit of black olive paste.
3. Add some water if needed and mix further. Add lentils/fava beans/chickpeas/olives.
4. Add the stock cube and any other seasonings. Mix again.
5. Cook pasta or rice in your usual way.
6. Simmer the tomato thing for a few minutes. Taste. Add whatever else you like.
7. Pour tomato thing over pasta/rice and mix. Serve with a bit of bread and water/green tea/lager/red wine.

Quantities are vague because we all have our own preferences, and if you make a lot you can keep it in the fridge for several days, reheating as needed. The only caveat really is that tomato paste, stock cubes and olive paste all tend to be quite salty. So if you use all three, the end result is going to be pretty salty for many tastes. I counter that by adding a bit more water and just using a bit less sauce on the pasta.
Iakobus1 wrote:
smr wrote:This is a thread I wasn't sure was exactly suitable for the "Sports" forum :P


True, but we sadly don't have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.

Brainwave: we should have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.


Jose Mourinho wrote:The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.


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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby smr » Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:02 am

Also, cooking devices:

Asda own brand 3l slow cooker.
http://direct.asda.com/ASDA-ESC-30---sl ... lt,pd.html

It's a tenner so it's pretty much a no brainer. I even got one on sale a few years ago and it was, I think, half that. You put food in the top, turn it on, leave it for a few hours and it comes out meltingly tender. Combine it with a timer socket and you've got a controllable device too.
I am either ridiculously impressed with voice recognition or completely baffled.

"Dive Source SCUBA Watersports" Did you mean, Dinosaurs School for Watersports?

No. But please take me there, smartphone.


We see this kind of shit in Wales all the time.

I like this. I like how you handled this. You could've come right out and been "Some guy cunted that sheep," but you went subtle.
smr
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Posts: 3608
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:53 pm
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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby Starky » Sat Jan 25, 2014 3:34 am

BURNS!

Make you own haggis from scratch - this is a bit late in the day, but maybe in the future or next year it could be tried if anyone has loads of time on his hands:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle ... 25&index=0

And a vegetarian version. This, though, you actually could do today if you've no bigger plans:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle ... ian-haggis

Better yet, perhaps, just buy a haggis. Still, making one's own haggis from scratch would certainly be a unique thing to do.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lamb's kidneys?

To prepare: Remove all packaging. Remove any membranes from the kidney and slice it in half lengthwise, cut out the hard core using a small, sharp, knife. Leave whole or cut into chunks according to your recipe.

To cook: To braise: fry a chopped onion in a little butter in a non-stick frying pan until softened, add the prepared lamb’s kidneys and brown them for 30 seconds on each side, cover with stock or red wine and simmer gently for 20-25 minutes. To grill or pan-fry: preheat the grill to medium or heat a little butter in a non-stick frying pan and cook lamb’s kidneys for 3-5 minutes on each side, according to taste.


(source: http://www.waitrose.com/content/waitros ... idney.html - yeah I know, but it's just a recipe, I'm not suggesting you actually buy them from there)

Might be something to try if I can find some and be bothered with the prep.
Iakobus1 wrote:
smr wrote:This is a thread I wasn't sure was exactly suitable for the "Sports" forum :P


True, but we sadly don't have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.

Brainwave: we should have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.


Jose Mourinho wrote:The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.


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Starky
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Re: Cooking/baking

Postby smr » Sun Jan 26, 2014 1:03 pm

That has a reasonable chance of getting tried one day, actually. It does seem like a lot of prep work and buying a haggis is really, really easy. I also wonder what the authentic recipe would involve: I can't imagine the original ingredients were chopped with a mezzaluna.

I've actually always wanted to cook offal. I've really only had liver pate when I'm eating out and mostly chicken at that. What really put me off was the idea that you somehow could only get it in specialised butchers and the local one in Muirhead is reasonably upmarket these days.

At the absolute opposite of the scale from Waitrose lamb kidneys, apparently Sainsburys does a good line in frozen chicken livers: 250g for 50p. If nothing else, that's an affordable source of dietary iron.
I am either ridiculously impressed with voice recognition or completely baffled.

"Dive Source SCUBA Watersports" Did you mean, Dinosaurs School for Watersports?

No. But please take me there, smartphone.


We see this kind of shit in Wales all the time.

I like this. I like how you handled this. You could've come right out and been "Some guy cunted that sheep," but you went subtle.
smr
User avatar
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Posts: 3608
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2009 9:53 pm
Location: Glasgow, still
Highscores: 2

Re: Cooking/baking

Postby Starky » Mon Jan 27, 2014 3:21 am

Looks like it'd take ages and probably not be worth it unless there was loads of people. With something that takes so long to prepare I'm a bit wary because you could easily ruin it by putting too much or too little of something. May I will try it one day, though. Haggis with cumin and stuff already inside would be pretty intense.

You wouldn't think offal of any sort is upmarket. Calf's liver maybe, but lamb kidneys? I was sort of surprised Waitrose offered them actually. If you say "cuisine", organs don't spring immediately to mind. Right? You say "food", though, and steak and kidney pie, liver and onions etc are things you might come up with, amongst others.

Personally I'm not huge on liver. Beef liver, anyway. I eat it, but I wouldn't write home about it.
Iakobus1 wrote:
smr wrote:This is a thread I wasn't sure was exactly suitable for the "Sports" forum :P


True, but we sadly don't have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.

Brainwave: we should have a "Furious Masturbation" forum.


Jose Mourinho wrote:The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.


Spoiler: show
Image
Starky
User avatar
Jeremy Kyle's Illegitimate Son, Soon To Be Emasculated On His Show
 
Posts: 2805
Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:41 pm
Location: HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG
Highscores: 6

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